ima-giant-turtle:

protons……….. neutrons…………… croutons………

stimman4000:

bro you better shut the fuck up before i look at you one day and feel warm and realize i’ve fallen in love with you bro. im serious quit it dude

versace-queeen:

I know I just called you dude but I’m trying to flirt with you

beyoncescock:

ahwahreh:

me: it can only get better from here *gets worse* it… can (:onlyget better fromher e (:

churchnotmadewithhands:

friend: what’s wrong? do you wanna talk about it?

me:

happyhomosexual:

Male: hello

Me, having listened to 5 true crime podcast episodes today: kill any women and children lately 😑😒